Lisa's Journal [entries|friends|calendar] Lisa [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[29 Sep 2005|12:07pm] [ mood | cold ] [ music | composing - boys night out ] ok, so after much much thought i have decided to retire this el-jay. i mean, i've had it since grade 10. and im in need of a change. also, i've been sick and spending a lot of time at home & so i needed something to do with my time. & so. please add my new el-jay: ____fauxpas (there's four underscores) thanks everyone :) strike a chord

[23 Sep 2005|01:36am] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | regret - get up kids ] i ate too much at dinner my family is generally pretty cool. csi ruled. i have things to do & things that are building and building and building up and they will all tumble and i will stress out. i dont know how many second chances i can give you. i need to start a movie collection. i need to prioritize better. i'm excited & a little nervous, but why? 2 | strike a chord

[17 Sep 2005|12:31am] [ mood | exhausted ] [ music | xo - fall out boy ] i definitely haven't been on el-jay in like, a week. thats got to be a record. i hate when i haven't been on, because then it takes forever to go back through my friends page and see what i've missed. so this week. umm i dont really remember monday, tuesday, wednesday, or thursday very well. because my memory is just like that. but i'm pretty sure nothing exciting happened. today was a good day. issues: we watched gattaca. more evidence to back up my perspective that fucking with nature is bad, & that technology will only keep advancing and making new problems in our society. fashion: more rice tying. world issues: my hot teacher wasn't there, so i told the supply that i was going to sign myself out, when i'm definitely not 18 yet. & she asked me if i'd take her attendance when i went. so i did. it was awesome. whatever, three months away is close enough for me. then i went to a toga partyyyyy! it was so much fucking fun. great company, soup, plenty of cigarettes, & lots of greecian (i can't spell) themed clothing. OH. & i finally saw the season finale of last season's CSI. BEST FUCKING EPISODE EVER. i still can't even get over it. mmmm i love csi. but because i watched it i got like three hours of sleep. & so i'm damn exhausted now. also. when driving home tonight from the toga party i watched some guy very clearly intentionally run a red light. he stopped for it, and then like, decided that he didn't want to wait anymore, so he just kept going. like what?!? people are stupid. & clearly very impatient. my mom brought me back thai food from their usual thai place. yayyy thai. 10 | strike a chord

[11 Sep 2005|12:26am] [ mood | calm ] [ music | forget december - something corporate ] so i'm getting written up at work i got scammed. & gave someone $100 without realizing it. three guys came in all at the same time, and got a hundred dollars from three of the tills in five minutes. fuckkkkk. i feel really really stupid. i watched garden state last night for the first time it was damn good. in other news. i dont know? more rambling: ( back to the thoughts that keep you awake ) 10 | strike a chord

[08 Sep 2005|08:41pm] [ mood | disappointed ] [ music | left and leaving - the weakerthans ] i'm officially bored of high school already. all of my homework tonight involved colouring. colouring. i'm in grade 12 and a half and i'm COLOURING. fuck i have to get out of here. i would kill to be in university now. but its ok, because i needed this time, (unfortunately) but i needed it, and i'm working hard, & am making DAMN sure i'm going to university this year. i've got art classes now on tuesdays so that i can build a portfolio. & i'm making travelling plans, & all that stuff. i'm strangely motivated lately. i feel like this year, everything kind of just clicked. i dont know. i'm just blabbering. i miss people. to all you university kids: i love and miss you and hope you come back to visit soon. 10 | strike a chord

[04 Sep 2005|12:22am] [ mood | amused ] [ music | cold water - damien rice ] yesterday was good i bought an ipod. & i've been spending every moment on my itunes organizing my songs and stuff before i transfer them all. then i went to richmond hill. then i chilled in unionville for a bit. starbucks of course. then we went to the park and played the animal game and i played on those hanging ring things, and now today my back is sore. today i worked. it was boring. & i'm pretty sure some other stuff happened, i just can't remember. today i went out to lunch with my brother and my nana, and i left the garage door open when i left, and no one was home, & so "anyone could have walked in" so now the car has been taken away for a week, excluding work. whatever, its school and i work anyways. so there aren't really any opportunities to go out. but still, it kinda sucks. oh, & today i bought the new boys night out cd - trainwreck. its fucking AWESOME. & the guy who cashed me out asked me if i was a model and when i said no, he said that i should be. it made me happy. but then right after my mom called my cell phone, threatening months of no car priveledges, all for leaving the garage door open. im sleepy. 4 | strike a chord

[03 Sep 2005|12:14am] [ mood | nostalgic ] [ music | soco amaretto lime - brand new ] so for pretty much the entire summer i've been in denial of the fact that so many of my friends are leaving & going off to do bigger things, far away from me. i've more recently denied the fact that the summer is quickly coming to an end, and i will once again be waking up early, taking the short bus from ballantrae to uhs yet again. i keep expecting the summer to last forever. and i keep expecting everyone to just come back to school again after the summer like we've been doing for the past four years. i keep expecting to be going back to drama, & to be spending lunches at bagel stop & mr.sub. but today i've finally realized that people WILL be leaving. and there is no more drama. & im so bad at goodbyes. & i'm so sick of goodbyes. i've had to say goodbye to so many of my favorite people and it only just now sunk in. what am i going to do without all of these incredibly special, wonderful, loving, talented, generous people that i've been so lucky to have gotten to know so well. & yes, i know, i will see them all again. but its so much harder when people are in other provinces miles and miles away. even 5 or 6 hours north, south, east, or west of here seems so far. they won't be just a phone call, a bus ride, or even a short drive away. & now i so badly wish that i was going away, because at least i wouldn't have to go back to uhs where all of the memories i have with all of these people rest. i'm just going to miss everyone so so so much. i just, i dont even know what to do with myself, all i can think about is how much i'm going to miss people. how can this happen? i've gotten to know these people so well, and they're all so important to me, and i love them all so much, and they're leaving? leaving? this just sucks. ( because it's just so fitting ) 3 | strike a chord

[02 Sep 2005|11:34am] [ mood | amused ] [ music | anthem for the broken hearted - jamison parker ] yesterday was a good day i woke up early, but late, & went to my hair appt. got my hair cut, it's very short. i decided to be daring, because it's just hair and hair grows back. then from there i took the bus to finch, & my bus driver was rude. & the guy in front of me smelled really bad. then i met hannah at eglinton station, & we went to the eaton's centre/urban outfitters. did some shopping. then to unionville then home. so today i am planning on getting my ipod. that i have so diligantly been saving my money for the past few weeks. this is of course providing that my mother lets me have the car, but she has some matress shopping to do?? & then she's going out to dinner, when she said i could have the car tonight, so i may just have to come out kinda late. so school is soon. i feel ready i think & i'm rather excited for it to come. & for it to be fewer people. i dont know why. time to dress. 6 | strike a chord

[31 Aug 2005|10:39am] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | everest - ani difranco ] sssssschedulee: 001. issues in human growth & development - Dougall 002. spare 003. fashion - Gardham 004. spare 005. canadian world issues - Johnston i'm pissed i didn't get visual arts. i neeeeeded that course. but whatever, shit happens. i'll work around it. so i've decided everybody needs to not leave. or leave like right this second so i can start getting used to it already. also, i made it from richmond hill to ballantrae in 17 minutes. at one point i hit 170 mph on the highway. people must have thought i was insane. & maybe they're right. but at least i wasn't late. ha. i also picked up my mug from your fired yesterday. and its grown on me. when i first saw it my reaction was - that looks really bad. but now that i look at it a lot i really like it. & thats all. oh except i'm an idiot. 2 | strike a chord

[30 Aug 2005|11:13pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | the blue channel - taking back sunday ] jump to all your conclusions i dont give a fuck anymore. The hardest things to say are the words that mean the most So I'll bite my tongue til it bleeds and I doubt you'll even know ( spill your guts in 8mm ) it wasn't supposed to be like this. strike a chord

[29 Aug 2005|11:54pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | metal heart - cat power ] i dont know where i'm at. regarding: school&friends&work&boys&family. an emotion for each one is continually flickering and rolling like a tape inside my head. im at a loss for words. & i'm out of ideas. ( out of cash and I.O.U.'s ) she knows she's more than just a little misunderstood she has trouble acting normal when she's nervous. 2 | strike a chord

[29 Aug 2005|10:12am] [ mood | angry ] [ music | cute when you scream - senses fail ] so last night. hmmmm. it was good. but it was also bad, from what i remember- which let me tell you isn't a whole lot. i remember bits and pieces. certain things that people said to me that shocked me. things that pissed me off. things that made me really happy. & though i feel as though i'm kinda regretting it, at the same time that was what i needed. i really just needed to forget about it. and i forgot about it. for a while anyways. i would like to thank all of my incredibly lovely and wonderful friends who took care of me. i am so thankful to you all, and apologize tremendously to those who had to see me throw up. harriet darling, i wasted so much of your bread. and i wasted so much of everyone's time, & i feel like an idiot. so thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou to everyone who was so kind. lots of new discoveries were made last night. & probably for the better. i guess its good to know who i can trust though. mainly my instincts, because i was right all along. i wish i could withstand confrontation. so the summer is almost over. everyone is leaving this week. and i have to go back to high school. & my stupid job. that is what i have to look forward too. damn these past couple of weeks have sucked h/c. i'm walking on eggshells. being as quiet as possible. 8 | strike a chord

[26 Aug 2005|02:12pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | one more time - french kicks ] Which 1990's Subculture Do You Belong To? [Another Quiz by Kris @ couplandesque.net] awesome. yesterday was cool, bloomie picked me up & then we picked up allie and went to the antique mall. i bought two necklaces, & really want that damn victorian chair. then we ran some errands kind of. then back to bloom's where we ate pasta and watched CSI. fuck i love CSI. then we went to see 40 year old virgin which was pretyyyy funny. then i went home with bloom and slept over. & made a theatre in the cacoon. it was awesome. then my mom picked me up at 9:00a.m. which i forgot existed. i haven't seen the sun rise in like, months. it reminded me of school. then i went back to bed. and now im awake and have to go to work later which sucks, but at least i've been out and about. and i still get to go out tommorrow, so its all good i suppose. my summer to do list makes me sad. because it is so far from being completed. damnnnn it. 7 | strike a chord

[25 Aug 2005|01:35am] [ mood | confused ] [ music | delicate - damien rice ] today i: - woke up really late. later than usual anyways. - picked V up & went to newmarket main street to the antique mall. my favorite place in newmarket for sure. i bought buttons & want to buy a chair. - then we got ice cream and i dropped V off at work - went the the newmarket RCSS for james' perscription, and saw a few people that i worked with at loblaws, which was cool - went home for a bit - picked up bloomie & went to unionville, starbucks of course which was good, because i haven't done that in a while it seems. - came home & missed the last episode i think of brat camp because my brother is an asshole & wont let me watch the damn tv, so instead i have to sit there watching late night tv shows that aren't funny. in general a good day & im excited for movies & more antique mall tommorrow yayyy no working also im realizing that with school coming soon, im going to be fucked due to my summer sleeping habits. im going to be really really cranky. ( our shadows grow underneath the streetlights ) 4 | strike a chord

[23 Aug 2005|01:19pm] List ten songs that you are currently digging... it doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're no good but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions, the artists, and the ten songs in your blog. Then tag five other people to see what they're listening to". 1. poetically pathetic - amber pacific 2. cold water - damien rice 3. insomniac - green day 4. romantic rights - death from above 1979 5. rebellion - the arcade fire 6. reinventing your exit - underoath 7. lack of colour - deathcab for cutie 8. take me away - plain white t's 9. district sleeps alone tonight - postal service 10. make it hot - mirah tag you're it: shipwrecking allmymisgivings eatyourfriends dark_sublime pornogarage 2 | strike a chord

[22 Aug 2005|06:31pm] [ mood | optimistic ] [ music | razor - foo fighters ] i am posting in an attempt to try to capture the mood that i have right now. im feeling very optimistic & motivated. strangely energetic, and yet very calm and relaxed. i'm also feeling very artistic and creative. im not sure what brought this on, but all i know is that i would like it to stay. my car went into the shop, but is now back. hopefully it wont have to go back in. it seems to be doing that a lot, and its very frustrating. so. whats new. i've made it my new personal goal to be more organized this year. i've started making goals, thats something new. im saving my money for an ipod. & i've also got planners and things to help me stay organized. i have like 6 to do lists scattered around me right now, and i'm prioritizing things. its like a whole new productive me. scary. but probably for the best. anyways i have to go and clean out the car now. because that is supposedly another car rule. oh yes, for those of you that care, i have been given new car rules. 1. i get the car three nights a week 2. i pay $40 a month for gas (im totally getting off lightly) 3. i have to clean out the car like once a month or something and i think that's it. and thats all. oh and i decided that a way to stay really motivated and like, excited about things, is to change things up. new is exciting. i dont know if this post made a whole lot of sense. probably not so much. 15 | strike a chord

[22 Aug 2005|11:37am] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | cold water - damien rice ] i have four small bruises all in a vertical line going down my leg. can anyone explain this? because i can't. i have no car. damn the pontiac pursuit and its a/c issues. i hate working. because i miss out on things. i also really want a cigarette, but alan is home. i just realized that im kinda cranky. this is so annoyinggggggg. i dont have a car on the day that i don't work? i need something new. no, i need lots of things new. im so bored of everything. ( cause I'm caught in suspension ) & craving conviction. 5 | strike a chord

[20 Aug 2005|11:25pm] my bruise has gotten progressively bigger. then today before work i stubbed my toe. im ridiculous. i worked today it was super boring & some lady got mad at me for "throwing" her tomatoes into the bag. but it was cushioned, there was lettuce in it. last night was really fun i wish i could have drank but i was driving my brother asked me if i wanted to do ballroom dancing i hope he was joking time to go watch my movies. it has become my after work routine to go to blockbuster and rent movies today i got two chick flicks and i finally got a card!! im weird. 6 | strike a chord

[18 Aug 2005|11:20pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | brand new colony - postal service ] yesterday i worked they put me on express!! and i was so excited, but then i fucked up a couple of times, and i think my manager hates me. and then when i went on my first break i hated express. i thought it was a nice change of scenery and such but i didn't like it much. but then i liked it again, by the time my second break arrived. it's a very love/hate relationship i have with the express lane. then this morning i slept in, and then made myself green tea and read my book in my backyard until a bee landed on my sleeve, and then kept hanging around, so i left. then i picked hannah up in aurora, and we went to my house. and then we went to your fired and painted pretty mugs. then to markham, then to unionville. we ate ice cream and chilled. and now im home and excited for tommorrow. well, tommorrow night, im not so much excited for my 7 hour shift at work. and thats all. 4 | strike a chord

[17 Aug 2005|01:22am] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | insomniac - green day ] I taste like Bread. I am a staple in almost everyone's diet. Friends like me are a complement to any other friends I get on with almost everyone, remaining mostly in the background, but providing substance when it would otherwise be lacking. What Flavour Are You? that's disappointing. in other news. i've decided to try to be optimistic. i've decided to trust my future to fate. i am just going to trust that everything will happen as it will and that everything that does happen is in fact happening for a reason & that is that. but starting tommorrow because today im really annoyed with everything and everyone. oh and also due to gas prices, my freedom has once again become limited. until negotiations are made. so fewer car priviledges until - undetermined. i feel like an idiot for not going to university. i had an opportunity to get the fuck out of this house, and obtain the one and only thing i've really always wanted (that being my freedom) and i completely let my opportunity go to waste. & im never using the 407 again. because now i have to pay for the 407 bill since i took it and the transponder didn't work. i have no idea where i was going. anyone remember where i was on july 17th? i dont know what to do with myself anymore. 11 | strike a chord

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